Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
