You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize