Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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