I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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