so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
