you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
