The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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