ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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