I feel like abortions should bother me more
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He shit in the fireplace
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
