WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
