Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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