The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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