...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
