Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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