Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
