i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
