umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
