I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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