So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
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