After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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