I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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