just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
