that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think your dad took our porno
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I said "one day" and that day is not today
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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