The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
