Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
