Dual....:-)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
