he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
