So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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