I don't think brook has ever known best
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
