It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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