I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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