he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
