Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
