Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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