Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
