Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
