I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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