I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think my moral compass just broke
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