I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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