he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
