i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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