I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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