Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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