are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
