So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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