I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
