i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize