so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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