No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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