i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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