Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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