Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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