Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
