I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
