i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
