you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
