He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
