The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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