Small penises have feelings too.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize