i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate all girls vehemently.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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