Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
