I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
